My first actual Medium post. I just finished reading something that one of the people I follow on here (a guy) wrote and I’m gingered to write. The person whose post I wrote was writing about his life generally. I think I have a crush on him and I was just happy to read about his life and I thought to myself: “why don’t you write about your life; someone might want to know what’s going on with you.” So here I am, at 1:28 am, writing something even though I need to be up at 7 to workout. I won’t be writing only about my life though; I would probably include a few things about work, school, and life in general. I’m not a writer so I’m not sure how excellent Medium posts are supposed to be. Do I need to punctuate properly or do I just go with the flow? I think I’ll go with the flow.

May 2017, the month I graduate, is approaching and I can’t stop thinking about life after uni. That’s also the month our student visas start to expire and everyone around me (actually just the international students) is asking each other the inevitable: “are you going home after graduation”? For my Ghanaian friends, it seems like a definite “yes”. For me it’s a no. If everything works out, I’ll stay for an extra year. I used to be one of those people who was invested in going back to Nigeria to “help” the country but not anymore. Not only was my desire to return laden with a savior complex, Nigeria is just not the country for me. I feel like Nigeria will stunt my growth. I have grown a lot since I left the country and I would love to continue growing. There won’t be any room for growth if I’m living with my parents and having to hear them nag about how I don’t want to go to church or do house chores.

Let’s also talk about the work environment (and work benefits). It’s just very different and I do not know how to explain it. I worked with one of the Big 4 over the summer and we were taken to a resort in Arizona for our week of training. All expenses-paid. At the end of summer, we went to Disney world. All expenses paid as well. I want to keep enjoying things like this.

I also keep thinking about the electricity situation there. When I was home over the summer, I kept forgetting to charge my phone whenever there was light because I didn’t remember that it was not 24/7. I also used to get frustrated when I ran out of airtime and even had to pay to send text messages. Here, my service provider lets me send texts for free and I don’t have to worry about airtime because I just talk as much as I want and pay at the end of the month (I think there’s something like this with providers in Nigeria though; not sure).

Here, I don’t check daily how much I spend because I always have enough money (unless I spend a huge amount of money on something I didn’t budget for which does not really happen) because what I earn from working is enough to sustain me. I can do random things like go out for dinner with friends or grab a box of donuts on my way back from work. In Nigeria, I would have to be mindful of every penny I spend. I would have to calculate how much of a dent every purchase would make in my pocket. Do you see where I’m coming from?

America hasn’t entirely been a paradise for me. I struggle a lot with homesickness and constantly feeling like I don’t belong here. I find it hard to make friends and wherever I go, I’m always on the lookout for Nigerians (or Africans generally). And they have to be from Nigeria-Nigeria; they can’t be Nigerian-American. Not that I have anything against Nigerian-Americans; I just relate to Nigerians better. I always miss Lagos and I dream of when I’ll experience life as a young-adult in Lagos. It’s really been a struggle for me in this aspect.

There’s so much more I want to write but I’ll stop here. Please I’m not bashing Nigeria. I don’t think I’m better than the people who live there. It will break my heart if this is what someone takes away after reading this. I love Nigeria but I love myself more and I’m just weighing the pros and cons of moving back home.

How many times to do you have to edit a Medium post before uploading it because I’m uploading this one without much editing?

Be kind to me (and my post); I’m not a writer.

Feminist | Learner